Memory Torture

There are some things that you just can't let go. It's not because you don't want to let go, it's just that your power over that part of your brain that is capable of storing information and images is very weak.

The korean movie " A Moment to Remember" always remind me that a person's soul is made up of his memories. When they enormously fade away, life goes on only at physical level, the soul dries up and eventually dies.

It's been a whole week of trying to silence my mind and heart. It's been a week of trying to convince myself that he and I are just dead busy and that somehow we can resume on being at least more than civil to one another soon.

But this is torture to me. The days are tearing off from the calendar but we are drifting farther away from one another. It could have been fine if my rationalization can clear my brain and emotions of my care and worries about him, but the memories overpower such state. He has been too kind to me for five months in a row and it's almost impossible to replace those memories.

Forgetting him is like walking into a very large gallery of paintings: destroying one masterpiece after another. How can you possibly do that in all willfullness?