FILLING IN THE GAPS

I've been away for four days. Hurting again, walking like a zombie.

Tuesday was a beautiful morning. I liked the Korean lecture because I understood 90% of the lesson. Thanks to my very helpful and sweet wing mates-turned-to-friends Amy and Catherine for helping me prepare for the class.

But the day ended gloomy. After class, I went to Mr. Park's office and helped him edit his draft letter for the KUT President. Then I went straight to the soccer field, felt the soft grass, met the friendly rays of the sun and cried. I was upset with Arvin and Mark (two of the Filipino exchange students with me) with their teasing. I felt judged with the way I handle relationships with male friends. I was really hurt and pondered about true friendship.

Wednesday was a lazy morning. The four alarms I set failed to wake me up in time to go to the World Knowledge Forum. I was very tired the night before (physically and emotionally) and I told myself that if I couldn't wake up, then I will just finish my drawing assignment and go to class. Thanks for the patient guidance and constant care of Scott, my korean friend from HDorm, I'm still able to survive this drawing class.

Thursday was a busy morning. I woke up 6:45am and headed to Walker Hill Hotel for the Forum. It was a long and interesting day, almost perfect if not for the working hours and appointment I missed. I felt terrible after receiving the "reprimanding call".

I walked slowly in the shivering cold night. The high heels tortured my feet but my heart felt the worse pain for feeling the utmost regrets in my solitude.

During these times, I miss having a friend to talk with. A friend patient enough to hear my wailings. A friend who can share the warmth of a hand or a shoulder. Though I found comfort in sharing my heart out with Amy and Catherine before I slept, I still felt the emptiness inside. Worse is, tears couldn't well up.

Today is another day. A day to face my fears, to try to smile, to try to live even if I feel like dying any moment...